


in your warmth i forget how cold it can be

by cinderfell



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Scene, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: 59 The Feywild, Extended Scene, F/M, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Seemingly Unrequited Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 02:01:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13225830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderfell/pseuds/cinderfell
Summary: He truly does adore her, and if what she needs is his company then that's the least he can give her after all she's done for him.





	in your warmth i forget how cold it can be

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! so this fic is kind of cool for a couple reasons! first of all, as of publishing it, it's my longest oneshot! second, it's my last fic of 2017, which has been a wonderful year for writing for me! third, this fic officially pushes me over 100,000 words of published perc'ahlia fic written since april 2016. yeah. *i know.*
> 
> i've been wanting to write the bed sharing alt scene for a while, and when taliesin said this scene was the moment percy realized he was in love with vex? well, i had to.
> 
> anyways, happy new years guys! still two hours off from midnight for me as of publishing this, but nonetheless, may 2018 be kinder to us than 2017!
> 
> title from "warmth" by bastille.

He's not quite sure why he ends up gravitating to Vex'ahlia's door. He knew Scanlan would be awake, the bard has been fighting to get through that book of his for the past few days, but as far as he knows everybody else would've attempted to find some sleep. Still, his feet seem to carry him to her door, and within a few minutes of leaving Scanlan he finds himself standing before it. 

This seems to be happening more and more lately. He can't exactly describe why, it's just… he's drawn to her somehow. 

She's not the worst thing to be drawn to, he knows that for sure. 

Sure enough, there are telltale signs of someone shuffling around inside. 

Clearing his throat, he knocks on the door. "Vex?" 

A pause. "Yes?" 

"May I speak to you for a moment?" 

"I… yes, of course, Percy." 

He opens the door and as soon as he does he's struck by how peculiar the scene in front of him is. Vex sits on the edge of her bed, a piece of her armor in her lap and seemingly mid-shine and the hat Scanlan gave her at her side. That in itself is not peculiar, however Vex herself is. She's wearing parts of the rest of her armor. That's… a bit strange. He knows she took it off earlier. The mansion is one of the few places where they all feel comfortable enough to take off their armor these days, so for the most part they barely hesitate to get some breathing room. But it appears she's donned it again. It's not just that, but it almost appears like she's put on more makeup in the time since he last saw her, a mere couple of hours ago. 

And on top of that, her eyes are slightly puffy and red-rimmed. 

Percy really doesn't like that. 

Well, may as well start with what he came to tell her. If she wants to tell him, well… he'll see. 

He shuts the door behind him and leans his back up against it, bracing himself for her response. 

"Little shit put a charm on me." There's a long moment of silence where she just looks at him blankly, without understanding. Suddenly her face twists up, and he knows that she's put it together. "I felt it wear off about… forty-five minutes ago?" 

She lets out a long sigh, her eyes briefly fluttering shut as she tries to compose herself. When she speaks, the exhaustion in her voice is undeniable. "Before we made the deal with him?" 

"Yes, around the time t--" Percy begins, but before she can finish his thought she cuts him off, slamming her hands down on her knees in frustration. The sound is louder than he'd expect, but it's just the two of them here. Everything is always… so much more when he's alone with her. 

"Fuck, Percy! I made the deal because--" Vex slams her hand down on her leg again. "--you said it was fine!" 

Suddenly flustered at the full brunt of her annoyance being turned on him, he attempts to stutter out… an apology? And excuse? He's not sure. He doesn't really get far enough anyways. "Well, I--" 

She sighs again, forcing herself to relax, letting her shoulders droop. With one hand she waves him off, and when he falls silent again she puts it to her head and rubs at the bridge of her nose. "It's fine, you didn't know." 

He awkwardly tugs at the corners of his sleeves, relieved at her diffusing frustration but still jumpy nonetheless. 

"Well," she says after a moment, now staring up at her ceiling. She takes the piece of armor she'd been holding in her lap and moves it off to the side of the bed. 

"Well," he repeats, and after a second he continues, "at least we definitely know he can't be trusted." 

She groans. "It's our own stupid fault! We knew we weren't supposed to trust anything here." 

It's his turn to sigh at that, reaching up to rub his temple. "I know." 

She lets out a short laugh, dropping her head down to look at her lap as she does. 

He shifts slightly, leaning his weight back against the door. "We have to make sure Pike doesn't give him back his whistle just yet--" 

"Why," she starts, and when she lifts her head to look at him again there's a small smile on her face, "did you want to fix his whistle? You just liked him?" 

"He was so nice!" Percy says quickly, feeling his face start to flush. 

"You just liked him," Vex repeats in affirmation, more to herself than to him. Her voice is still tinged with frustration, but the rueful little smile still remains. 

"He was just… so nice." 

"Damnit. I really thought you knew something we didn't know." She tangles her hand into her hair, shoving it back over her shoulder. "I really, really thought you did." 

"I did! It's just sadly what I knew was he's a little shit. I just didn't know until about half and hour ago." He sighs again, frustrated with himself, with the satyr, with things he didn't understand. "I hate magic. I hate magic!" 

Caught up in his own annoyance, he doesn't notice the smile slide off her face until she calls his name again after a moment of silence. 

"Percy?" At his name from her lips, his attention snaps to her immediately, like she's the only thing in the room worth paying attention to, the only thing in the world-- well. "Change of subject?" 

"Hmm?" He tilts his head to one side inquisitively. 

Vex's mouth parts and for a moment no sound comes out. She raises her hands slowly in front of her, framing her own figure, before they come up to rest in the collar of her shirt. "Would you say I look… put together?" She bites her bottom lip. "Like I'm well off… with this armor?" 

Feeling caught off-guard, he looks at her, blinking rapidly. That's… not what he was expecting. "Uh, in what sense?" 

"Well, you come from money!" She gestures widely with her hands-- something she does when she's nervous, he's noticed over the years-- before dropping them to her lap and clasping them tightly, tight enough where her knuckles turn white. "Right?" 

Eyebrows scrunched, he confirms, "Yes?" 

"Right! So, um…" Vex gestures at herself again, at her outfit. Then she brushes her hair out of her face-- and he didn't notice it when he walked in, but now he can't help but noticed how tightly her braid is woven, how cleanly it's pulled back aside from a few stray pieces that are left to frame her face. She doesn't wear her hair like that, not unless Vox Machina is all tangled up in something that requires more formal attire. She wears her braid loose and wild, a wave of hair against one side of her face and a roguish smile. But she's pulled back even that, and her smile is wavering as she looks at him. "Does it look like I come from money?" 

He stares at her, bewildered. 

Oh. Okay. Does she look like she comes from money? She looks… well put together, that's for certain. Vex always looks like someone who could steal the attention from a room, draw everybody's eyes to her if she wanted. She wears fine clothes, fine armor, the right amount of gold to be flashy without being overwhelming to the point of a clear boast of wealth. So that-- ah, that certainly doesn't add up to someone born rich in his experience. He knows how nobles flaunt their fortune at every turn, especially over those less fortunate. Gods, he's probably guilty of it himself. 

So maybe she doesn't exactly look like she comes from money, but she's somebody worth noticing nonetheless. She's beautiful. He's known that since the first day he met her. And she's clever too. He's known that from day one as well. Vex'ahlia has always valued money and status, to the point where the rest of the group, even Vax, makes fun of her for her greed. But he's always sort of understood her, at least he thought he did. Maybe it's because he came from money himself, only to lose it all in a single night. He understands the allure of wealth, the safety of it. He's never seen any shame in her desiring wealth, not from what he knows about her and her brother's history. 

But even with that aside, she is-- she really is beautiful. And it's not just the surface, either. Not another one of her masks. She's kind and compassionate, although he suspects she tries to temper it sometimes. But she really is. Even at his worst, when he didn't deserve her kindness, or anybody's for that matter, she was kind to him. Often a bit blunt, as the memory of her shoving him against a wall and demanding to know if he was okay reminds him, but always kind and concerned. She wasn't under any illusions about trying to fix him or save him or redeem him-- he suspects he's long past that point by now, and if he's being frank, it almost feels… wrong for someone to fixate on that about him, like a waste of energy, fooling themselves-- she simply focused on being there for him when he needed it. 

(Her hand in his, her voice breaking through the dark shroud of Orthax's corruption, so thick it fills his lungs and obscures his vision except for the revenge he must take. And her. Her, tugging him back, urging the mask off.) 

She really is incredible. 

His silence must last long enough to unnerve her, because by the time he's managed to even begin stringing together something coherent, she's begun squirming where she sits on her bed. 

He takes a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing. He certainly isn't religious, but for a moment he's almost tempted to send a prayer out into the universe that he doesn't fuck this up. He tends to do that, or so he's been told. Talk himself into awful situations. He hopes this isn't one of them. 

"Honestly dear, you're too happy to look like you come from money." 

And she laughs. She laughs like he said the funniest thing she's ever heard in her life, hard enough that he swears she's started crying, and he thinks she has, but he's not quite convinced the tears are starting because of his words. "Ha! I don't believe that." 

With a sniffle, she reaches up and wipes her eyes, and yes, she's definitely crying now. 

"No, it's a sure sign of it. It's just an abject misery, believe me, I can speak to it." He shifts off the door now, standing to his full height and fiddling with his sleeves again as he looks at her. "Um. You look too much like you, and you don't look like something you're supposed to be. Um… if you feel the urge to deeply bullshit, I'd be happy to help you. It's not hard." 

"No?" Her voice is so soft when she speaks, so hopeful. So… vulnerable. He's not sure if he's ever heard her like this, ever seen her like this. He's not sure if any of them have, now that he thinks about it, save for maybe her brother, and even then-- well. Vex is well-guarded. He knows what it's like to wear a mask well enough to recognize one when he sees it, and Vex is almost always wearing one. She holds her real emotions close, keeps herself from appearing vulnerable or from showing any perceived weakness that would make them worry about her. 

It kind of breaks his heart. 

"No," he confirms, and he shakes his head a little. "It is _easy_ to pretend you come from money. You just have to be a bit of a shit and wear what everybody else is wearing." 

"Right," she says, and it's so quiet he almost misses it. 

He pinches the corner of his sleeve again, and for a moment he contemplates leaving her, not pushing. She likes her privacy, surely he isn't the best one to handle this anyways, he's never been good at emotions. And yet-- 

"Um." He takes a step forward from the door slowly, watching her for any signs of rejection. If she doesn't want him to push he won't. She shows no signs of stopping him, simply staring at his feet as he steps closer. "Does this have something do with... that city?" 

She doesn't respond with words, but frankly she doesn't have to. She lets out a short, breathy laugh, one with no real amusement behind it. Her smile widens but it's not real, a frustrated, decaying fraction of her mask falling away in front of him. She brushes a stray piece of hair out of her eyes again and sighs shakily. 

"It doesn't, doesn't it?" He takes another step closer. Then another. She doesn't stop him. Slowly, he takes a seat next to her on the bed. He leaves enough room between them for her to have her space. "Who's there?" 

"Well, you know. Everyone." She laughs. He hates it, how tired she sounds. There's a moment where she seems to try and hold onto her mask, to the fake smiles and nonchalance she holds so dearly, before she suddenly seems to let it slide away. A quiet, simple acceptance of his presence. A show of vulnerability. "We were judged, growing up. I… I don't look forward to seeing that again." 

No, no he can't imagine she would. 

The very thought that so many people would turn their noses up at her for her birth, for her _blood_ , makes his blood boil. He clenches his fist despite himself, his jaw tightening. How... how dare they hurt someone as bright and beautiful as her? How _dare_ an entire city-- and her own father-- make her feel inadequate, like she's less than the rest of them. Gods, they're not even-- they aren't even worthy to stand on the same level as her. 

Stuck in his own head trying to figure out what he can say to fix everything for her, he seems to have forgotten that she's left outside his head with no answers and an uncomfortable silence. 

Worse yet, she seems to have taken his silence as a chance to back out. "It's not important!" 

"Oh, I disagree," he blurts out instantly, because he does. Everything about her is important to him-- more important than he's been willing to admit to himself before, but now-- and he doesn't need to spend time thinking about that to know that whatever she's so scared of matters. "I think… dear, I think… I think that if you're worried about them knowing whether or not you've made your money and made your fortune-- I don't think that's going to be the thing to earn their respect." 

She nods, quickly and shortly. 

"I think you're better off A, with the company that you keep, and B," he takes a deep breath, knowing how close he's coming to saying something he doesn't want to let out, "with the fact that you're probably just better than most of them." 

She laughs at that, and for the first time since the topic came up it sounds truly genuine, and it's the loveliest sound he's ever heard. Better than any song he's ever heard, from Scanlan or otherwise. She tilts her head slowly to one side as she does, and pieces of hair fall loose from where she's pinned them back, falling into her face. And suddenly, hair starting to come undone, she looks more like herself again, and not just somebody meant to impress people who wouldn't care in the first place. 

And he thinks he may love her. 

And that's it, isn't it? The quiet truth he's held inside himself for years. The adoration, the respect he holds for her; the unwavering belief directed at him even when he didn't deserve it, the kindness. It's been something more than just that for a long time now, but sitting next to her like this, both of their masks removed, utterly vulnerable to each other, it's only now that it makes itself known. 

He loves Vex. Unabashedly and without doubt, Percy has fallen in love with her. 

He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and fidgets with his sleeves again-- he'll wear a hole through them at the rate he's going-- as he contemplates what's next. He could-- honestly he's getting close to things he hasn't been comfortable admitting even to himself. "I've know a lot of people with money, and… they are definitely not worth you." 

She looks like she's been struck. 

Vex, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, looks at him as if he just told her Trinket had grown wings and Grog was a genius wizard. 

"And besides," he adds quickly, because they way she's looking at him is making his heart constrict, "if they have something nice that makes you feel inferior? We can just take it." 

And she laughs again, and his heart swells until it's almost too full. Smiling softly, she reaches up and wipes some tears from her eyes yet again. "I like the way you think." 

He gives a little shrug, hoping his pale northern complexion isn't betraying how much he's feeling. "Well, and then they're just, you know, shit without anything and you're you with their stuff." 

"Yeah," she says softly, the smile on her face fading until it's barely there, but she doesn't seem to be quite as upset anymore. She looks down at her lap. "Thank you, Percy." 

"You're welcome, I know it doesn't really help, but…" He sighs, looking around the room, anywhere but her, trying to focus himself again. "I--" 

"Will you stay at my side when we're there?" Her voice is quiet, uncertain. Like she's afraid she's asking too much. Like-- like asking for help, for his support, is a burden. How could staying by her side ever be a burden to him? 

"Yes," he says instantly. After a moment he feels his face flush, and there's definitely no hiding that, but perhaps she's too busy with her own thoughts to notice. "Yes. And, uh, the outfit works, don't change it. Keep the hat." 

He slowly looks back at her again, and the expression on her face-- it can only be described as _tender_. 

Moments pass. They're quiet. He doesn't look away from her and she doesn't look away either. 

And then it hits him, where he is. What he's doing. That he's in love with this woman. 

He coughs, reaching up to cover it and by extension the blush seeping through his skin. "I, ah, should probably leave you to sleep. I've taken up enough of your time." 

He feels a hand snag his wrist as he starts to stand, and when he turns back to look at her she finds her staring at him with wide eyes, almost as if she's bewildered by her own body's actions. 

"Vex?" Percy says softly, still stuck halfway standing for fear of moving and scaring her. "What is it?" 

Slowly, Vex releases his wrist and lowers her hand back to her lap, her eyes dropping down to them. "Sorry." 

"What's wrong?" Percy asks again. 

She bites her lip. "It's silly." 

"Whatever you think is silly, I assure you I'll take it seriously." 

She slowly raises her eyes up to him again. "You don't-- you don't have to say yes. I just-- I just had a thought, and I really… I really don't want to be alone tonight, Percy." 

Very carefully, he sits back on her bed. "What are you asking?" 

"I, um, was wondering…" She reaches up and takes her braid in hand, fidgeting with the end. "Would you be willing to spend the night in here with me? To keep me company?" 

Suddenly, Percy forgets how to string together words in every language he's ever learned. 

"I--" he starts, but she cuts him off. 

"Like I said!" Vex says, suddenly bright red. "You don't have to! I don't want to force you or guilt you just because I'm lonely, I don't want your company if you don't actually want to be here, but--" 

That kicks his mind back into action. 

"You mean-- spend the night in this room? With you?" He clears his throat. 

She nods. 

"I… I don't see what not. I don't… I truly don't mind sharing your company, Vex'ahlia," he says, feeling his face start to heat immensely. 

She looks at him for a long moment, eyes wide. Finally, she asks, "Are you sure, Percy?" 

He thinks. That's a lie, actually. He doesn't even have to think. "Yes." 

"Oh! Okay." They look at each other for a long moment. 

He decides to break the silence. "Should I go… get ready, then?" 

"Oh, um, yes! I suppose you should!" She laughs. "I'll get ready too while you're gone." She gestures down at herself, half-armored and made up. "I'm not quite ready myself." 

He leaves her room as calm and collected as he possibly can. As soon as her door is shut, however, he's practically sprinting down the hallway to his own room. 

"No running through the hallway!" Scanlan calls to him as he runs by his open door. 

Percy ignores him. 

There isn't much to worry about when it comes to getting ready for bed. He chooses a nicer sleep shirt and soft pants. He stands in front of the mirror Scanlan put in his room, staring at his own reflection. 

By Gods, what has he gotten himself into? 

He really can't say no to her, can he? 

_That's because I'm in love with her_ , part of him thinks. He quickly shoves that thought down. No need to focus on that tonight, given the circumstances. 

He walks slowly back to Vex's room. Scanlan doesn't notice him on the way back. Before long, he's standing back in front of her door. After a moment of deliberating on what the fuck he's doing, he knocks. 

"Yes?" Vex's voice rings out, clear and calm through the door. 

"It's me," he says, trying to keep his voice low enough that the rest of the group won't hear him from the next rooms over. 

"You can come in, Percy." 

Oh dear. Here it goes. 

He opens the door slowly, careful not to let it creak. He slips in quietly, closing the door behind him before he turns to look at where she sits in bed, the makeup scrubbed from her face and a large shirt pulled over her. Her bottom half disappears under the covers of the bed. 

"Your hair," he says, and he can't help but think about how dumb he sounds. 

Blinking rapidly, Vex reaches up to touch her braid. It's still braided, but not like earlier. She's taken out all the pins, done it up the way she always wears it, loose and slightly wild. "What about it?" 

"I just, ah, wasn't expecting you to wear it like that to bed. I thought you'd wear it down." 

"Oh! Well, normally I would-- the mansion is safe enough that I feel comfortable enough with the knowledge that we won't be attacked to let it down, but quite frankly I don't want to suffocate the person nice enough to keep me company tonight." She gives him a small smile. "It gets everywhere." 

Suddenly dry-mouthed, he says, "Am I-- that makes it sound like I'll be on the bed." 

She looks at him like he's an idiot. "I'm not going to make you sleep on the floor, Percy. I mean, I suppose you're welcome to if you want, but I think it's much nicer up here." 

"No," he says quickly. "I'll sleep up there, I just-- I didn't realize, I suppose." 

She snorts. "I'm not rude enough to make your first option the floor. I asked you to be here, didn't I? And besides, it can be rather nice sharing a bed with someone." 

He coughs at that, reaching up to cover the blush that's no doubt spreading across his face. Not like that'll help in a moment. 

Still smiling at him, she tugs the corner of the blankets closest to him back, showing him the place in her bed she's set aside for him. Despite himself, the image of Vex, done up all comfortable for bed, smiling fondly at him as she beckons him to his side of the bed, it makes his heart pound. 

Slowly, he crawls into bed besides her. It's warm, the pillows and blankets soft and turquoise like she always wears. 

"You can put your glasses on the side," she says kindly, scooting down in the bed so she can lay down fully, her head on the pillow. 

"Oh, uh, of course." Quickly, he plucks the glasses off his face and puts them exactly where she told him to, on the bedside table. After a moment of hesitation, he slides down himself, resting his head against his pillow as well. 

Satisfied, Vex turns towards the bedside table on her end and puts out the candle, and with that a hushed darkness falls over the room. 

Suddenly nervous about their proximity, the reality of where he is hitting him, he speaks to calm himself. 

"I've never shared the same bed as someone else before," he muses quietly to himself. 

She rolls over to look at him, surprise in her eyes. "Really? Not even with someone you slept with?" A sly smile spreads across her face. "In the sexual sense, of course." 

He sputters, his eyes darting away from her and up to the ceiling. "I-- I've never--" 

He feels her eyes on him for a long moment before she makes a soft sound of realization. "Oh. Sorry, darling." 

Percy clears his throat. "It's, ah, okay. I just… there's never been any time. And I lacked the interest, I suppose." 

"In sex?" Vex shifts slightly, turning her attention to him more. "Literally tell me if you don't want to discuss it and I'll stop. I'm just curious. You never talk about sex or romance the way the rest of us do." 

"It's fine," he tells her, but he can't help the prickle of embarrassment on the back of his neck. "And no, sex isn't the problem, at least not as far as I'm aware. Like I said, I've been too preoccupied with other things to really worry about it, and I've never really been interested in anyone enough to go out of my way to… ah, proposition." 

Well. Except for one person, laying incredibly close to him in the very same bed. But even now-- it's not what he wants right now. Or what she needs. All he wants, really, in the deepest parts of his heart, is to hold her. 

He can settle for the quiet companionship and hushed voices in the same bed, however. It's far more than he ever thought he'd get the honor of. 

Vex hums in response. "I get that, I suppose." 

"No snide comment about me never--?" 

"No," she says instantly. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. If you never want to, it wouldn't be something to be ashamed of either. It's your choice if and when you want that to happen. Anybody who makes you feel bad for that is shit." 

He bites his lip. "I-- thank you, Vex." 

"Yeah." She shifts again, hooking an arm up under the pillow she rests her head on. It brings her an inch closer to him. "What about when you were little? Didn't you ever share a bed with any of your siblings?" 

Percy snorts. "We weren't… exactly that kind of family. And there was no need. We had our own beds." 

"Ah," Vex says, "of course. Rich kid." 

He shrugs. "You're not wrong. And besides, when the younger ones had nightmares, it wasn't me they'd go to. They'd go to Vesper." 

"Vesper," Vex repeats softly. "I know I've heard the name, but I don't recall…" 

"My older sister," he clarifies. "Secondborn child, oldest daughter. Had a mean old cat that scratched at anybody who wasn't her." He pauses, thinking of her face for the first time in a long time. It still… it still hurts to think of them. But he summons her anyways, the sharp angles of her face, the brown hair pulled partially up in the back while the rest flows down her back in elegant waves. "She was a good sister," he finishes quietly. 

Vex's smile is soft and sad in the darkness. "Sounds like it." 

"What about you?" Percy asks, although he feels like he already knows the answer. 

She hums again. "Well, I admit I'm not too fond of spending the night with the people I sleep with. We're there for a good lay and not much else. A couple times, though. When they're nice and tired." She lets out a small laugh. "Always a bit awkward in the morning though. _Hey, thanks for the sex! No, you don't have to buy me breakfast, I'll be on my way!_ " 

"Free breakfast," he points out quietly, and she laughs again. 

"Fair enough!" After a moment, she continues, "I have shared the same bed as Vax a lot, though. When we grew up with our mother, she wasn't too wealthy. We shared a small bedroom and a small bed. It wasn't too bad, honestly. Vax might have different opinions though, seeing as he was the one who always woke up without blankets or on the floor." 

He snorts. "Survival of the fittest." 

"Exactly!" She sighs then. "When-- when Syldor came and got us, we had our own rooms. He was wealthy enough for that. And at first it was kind of nice. We had our own spaces! At least we had that. But we were lonely. We missed our mother, Syldor barely acknowledged us, and now we didn't even share the same space. We spent… a lot of nights in each other's rooms trying to pretend we were still in our shitty little bed in our mother's home. But when the sun came up we were still exactly where we fell asleep." 

"I'm sorry," he says. 

She shrugs. "It's okay. So to answer your question, yes. I have shared a bed with other people before. Not… not so much recently. But I admit that I… I missed it. Sharing a bed with someone I trust. It feels less lonely." 

"You trust me?" He repeats quietly. 

"Of course I do," she answers with no hesitation. "You're my friend and you've seen me at a low point, and not just that but you helped me up. Of course I trust you, Percy. Why wouldn't I?" 

"I k--" _I killed you, I hurt you, I sent your brother down a road that we don't know the end of._

"Shh," she says, cutting him off. "I forgive you for that, Percy. It was an accident." 

"But--" 

"It was a moment of carelessness, true, and I know you still hold yourself accountable for it, but I think you've learned your lesson." When he opens his mouth to speak, she says, "No arguing with me in my own bed, Percival. I will steal all the blankets and kick you onto the floor while you sleep." 

He's quiet for a moment. Then, "From the story you just told, it sounds like you'll do that anyways." 

She laughs at that. "Fair enough! But still, enough of that, Percy. I wanted you here for your company. Doesn't that tell you enough?" 

"I-- I suppose it does," he relents. 

"Good." And with that she rolls over. 

Did he-- did he annoy her? Did he do something wrong? 

"I'm sorry," he starts, but she lets out a frustrated noise. 

"Percy! I'm not mad at you. I'm just trying to sleep." 

"I thought you wanted my company?" He tilts his head to one side, confused. 

"I also want to sleep! Sometimes company is just being there for each other in silence and knowing you're not alone." 

Oh. 

Still, he can't fight the sudden urge to be a bit of a little shit. 

"You keep responding though," he counters. 

She hits him with a pillow. 

(She's smiling though, when he pulls the pillow off his face. Her face is fond, her body completely relaxed. Perhaps she's right, and the quiet knowledge that you're not alone is enough company sometimes. The right kind of company.) 

She falls asleep first. He can't help but wonder how she can do that, the two of them so close together. He can't even think about sleeping, not when his brain won't be quiet about the whole situation. It was easier to not think about when she was awake and talking, distracting him. But now that she's asleep, her only sound the soft sounds of her breathing, his mind has gotten louder again. 

He loves her. 

He loves her and he wants to help her and in the process of that she's invited him into her bed-- perhaps not the way he thought about when he gave into his shameful fantasies in rare moments of weakness, but he's in her bed nonetheless, and if he's being honest he thinks this means more. She trusts him. She may not love him back the way he loves her-- gods, how could she? She is beautiful and radiant and so, so kind, and he's darkness and arrogance and cruelty. How could someone like her love someone like him? 

But she trusts him. And maybe-- maybe she loves him in her own way, as a dear friend. 

If he cannot love her as a lover, then he'll love her as a friend. It'll be enough. Perhaps it'll hurt at first, but it'll be enough. What an honor to be her friend, regardless of anything else. It's not a kindness he deserves, after all he's done, but he'll accept it nonetheless. 

He wants to make it up to her, somehow. 

There are many places in Whitestone that need filling. He doesn't want to just jump something she won't like on her, and he never, _never_ wants her to have anybody question her worth again. So perhaps… perhaps a title that can only be given in name, that must truly be earned to reach its full potential. Perhaps-- 

Warmth presses against his back and everything freezes. His breathing stops, his thoughts all grind to a halt. For a moment, he swears his heart stops beating. 

In her sleep, Vex has rolled closer to him, most likely in search of warmth, curling her form into his back, her face resting between his shoulderblades. 

Oh. Oh dear. 

Flustered, he scoots an inch away. Grumbling in her sleep, Vex follows him, this time firmly wrapping an arm around his middle and snuggling up to him, her cheek against his shoulder now. 

Okay. 

This is his night now, he thinks, and Vex buries her face into his shirt, making him shiver. 

* * *

"Percy," the voice says. 

_Fuck off,_ is what he tries to say. What comes out is unintelligible. 

A warm hand settles on his shoulder, the bed shifting as the owner of the voice moves. Another hand settles on his back. "Percy, darling, the others will be awake soon." 

He groans. The voice is insistent that he wake up-- far earlier than he'd like, according to how dead tired he still is-- and no matter how pretty and soft it is, he doesn't want to listen to it. What does it even mean, that the others would-- 

Percy jolts awake, startling Vex enough that she squeaks, toppling backwards away from him. 

"Fuck, Percy!" Vex says breathlessly, and when he turns to look at her, she's partially splayed across the bed on her back, propped up on her elbows to look at him. He stares back in confusion. He-- how could he have forgotten where he was? "You startled me!" 

"Sorry," he says, his voice still low and gravely with sleep. Vex bites her lip then looks away, straightening her shirt before sitting up, righting the blankets over her. "What time is it?" 

"A bit earlier than usual, I think. I thought you might wanna get to your own room before the others start moving around, you know?" She clears her throat. "Not that I want to kick you out early, of course, but the others might… think the wrong thing, you know?" 

Oh. 

_Oh_ , of course. 

"Perhaps that's smart," he agrees, groggily pulling the blankets off of him. 

When he turns to look at her, she's smiling slightly. "I don't know. Maybe we could let them talk, though? I'm sure they'd have a lot to say." 

As tempting as staying in bed with her for a little while longer is, the thought of what Vax would say if he caught Percy leaving Vex's room in the morning is enough to make him reconsider. 

"I'd rather avoid your brother's wrath, I'm afraid," he tells her, and she laughs. 

"I bet you are!" 

"That's not what I-- oh, you know what I mean, Vex'ahlia." He squints at her for a moment before he picks his glasses up and slides them on. 

"I haven't the faintest clue what you're talking about," she says innocently, and now it's his turn to laugh. 

They're both quiet for a moment after that, and Percy can't help but think about how… comfortable he is with her, even in the silence. He also can't help but think about what she said about finding it awkward the morning after waking up with someone. It doesn't feel like that to him, and he can't really speak for her, but the look she's giving him-- eyes soft and head tilted slightly to the side, almost fond-- it doesn't seem she's all too uncomfortable either. 

"Thank you," she says finally, voice quiet. Her mouth is settled in a gentle curve, lips pink, cheeks slightly flushed, perhaps from the warmth of the room, he thinks. 

"You don't have to thank me," he tells her. "This was… strangely enjoyable. I understand what you meant, about how sharing a bed with someone you trust can be… well." 

"I know," she says, her smile growing just sightly. 

"You know," he agrees. 

And then she leans across the bed and kisses his cheek. It's brief, just a bare brush of lips against his skin before she's pulled back, but he feels his heart stop. 

"Really," she says. "Thank you, Percy. Not just for staying with me, but for everything. I'm not excited to see my father or Syngorn today, but your words-- knowing you'll have my back-- it helps. It helps a lot." 

"I-- that's all I ever wanted to do," he tells her, and he almost winces at the raw honesty in his own voice. It's true. All he's ever wanted was to help her, to make her happy. 

She laughs breathily at that, her head falling down to look at her lap, a small smile still on her face. "Well, you did it very well." 

"Vex--" Percy starts, but she cuts him off. 

"You better get going, Percy," she says, looking up to meet his eyes again. Hers are unbelievably warm. "Don't want my brother catching you, right?" 

Oh. Oh, no, he most definitely doesn't want that. "You're right," he says quickly, and fully detangles himself from her blankets, the cool air of the bedroom almost ice cold compared to the toasty warmth of her bed. 

As a last thought, he hastily attempts to make his side of the bed. Vex giggles. 

"Such a gentleman," she says, and he feels his face flush. 

"It's only fair," he says quickly. Clearing his throat, he stands up straight again, looking down at the woman still curled under the blankets, in the same bed he shared with her only minutes ago. "Well. I suppose I'll, ah, see you in a little bit." 

She smiles fondly at him. "Not if I see you first." 

Slowly making his way back to the door, he laughs shortly. "That's just not fair. You're far more perceptive than I am." 

She laughs sweetly, reaching up to cover her mouth. "Well, maybe I'll let you see me first this time. Just this once, you'll win." 

"You're a kind and merciful lady," he tells her, and even he knows he's just stalling at this point, dragging this little bubble of warmth and safety they've formed together out as long as he possibly can. His hand rests on her doorknob. 

"I try," she says, and tilts her head at him. "If you go now, maybe you can catch another hour of sleep before everybody's really up." 

"Like I said," he says softly, "a kind and merciful lady." 

"I'm just looking out for you the way you look out for me," she tells him. 

His heart constricts. 

Gods, but he adores her. 

"I'll be here when you need me," he says, and her smile softens. 

"I know you will, darling. You're a good friend." She blinks rapidly then, reaching up to grab her braid and play with the end. "Thank you again, Percy." 

"Of course," he says, and opens the door slowly, quietly. "Anytime." 

She raises her hands and gives him a tiny wave and, feeling a bit childish, he raises his hand and waves at her too. Her eyes glimmer brightly at him as he closes the door again. 

The mansion's hallways are cool to the skin, but his body still radiates warmth, as if he hasn't fully left her bed. Still outside her door, he raises a hand to his chest and places it over his heart. Or perhaps it's silly, but it feels as if she's warmed him to his core, to the very beat of his heart. 

Percy takes a deep breath. 

He will make this up to her. He will make sure she knows how much she means to him, even if he can't tell her directly. He'll make sure she knows how much she means to everyone, what she's worth. 

And if he gets to spite the man who neglected her for years? Well, all the better. 


End file.
